Mixed feelings

Firing Day 4

Today fourth frame with 60 bullets, me being me, a nervous-wrecked, nearly screwed up. my heart was thumping really really fast and my revolver was being a bitch, malfunction for so many times and I was perspiring all over. Ha, and finally I experienced the recoil. It wasn't that bad until the afternoon frame - the fifth frame. 55 bullets for the fifth frame and guess what, it was the worst recoil I ever experience.

I have been asking myself why I didn't feel pain throughout my first three frames. And the only answers I could console myself was,

1) I was holding the correct gripping method for the past 3 frames (which I should feel more satisfied)

2) Different guns have different recoil strength? Probably the one I use is a newer one that's why the impact was marvelous. LOL

Seriously I'm so nervous for tomorrow test because it's the final and last frame, god bless me. My palmar is swollen :( have to tahan 60 more recoil.

 

had dinner earlier on with the two fellas. Dining with them really damn funny. Always doing/saying nonsensical stuff and make me laugh. So sad, one of them posted to a different command :( all I hope now is we can be in the same team. *fingers crossed* after dinner we head back home

Caught 'Sinister' at causeway point. It was rather an impromptu plan. Thanks for everything. Appreciated much, despite being tired, still accompany me watch movie. I must control. I'm pretty sure, I'm falling deep in. My intuition tells the same too. It have been a long time since I feel this way....... I really hope it isn't the first and last.

Goodnight <3

 

Fifteen of the month October

It's the 15th, well, this date actually meant a lot to me last time. Even till today, I think back about those 'happy' past I smiled. Thank you for those days. I know you remember too.

Met up with xiao jun and li Shyuan in the morning, as it was xiao jun first day of work too. Had dinner with the partial group mates, Li Shyuan, Mel, Ren Wei & Joel at KFC after training. Ah, today was indeed a tiring day for me. I didn't have enough sleep and thankfully I managed to pass through the day.

Proceed to HTA shooting range and waited for our turn to fire :) seriously, I kinda enjoy shooting. The feeling of the gun sound is damn shiok. Words can't simply explain how I feel. One day to go before the test commence. I'm nervous at the same time ; mixed feelings.

Heading to bed soon!

anw, I appreciate so much of the morning calls daily. I don't know why, but it seems you are more than just friend to me. You really melt my heart at times but well, I guess we didn't really move on. Still, I really really treasure you as a friend.

 

Days like this.

Been sometime since I last update this space of mine. Am an working adult now. Shall blog about my interview experience some other time. Anyway I'm undergoing training now, currently the fifth out of 8weeks. Everything is rather smooth and that's all I gladly hope for. Still trying hard to get use to working life...

On a happier note, gained many new friends. Thank god for Li Shyuan too! The next wish I hope is, for us to be assigned to the same team. *cross fingers*

Shall continue again soon! I'm sleeping soon. I know right, I'm sleeping like almost 11pm daily. I, myself, couldnt believe it too!

Alright! Good night! And I really miss schooling days!

 

Test

 

Restless

It sucks entering the new phase as an adult life. It's no longer study + slack days. It's work + money. Fml FYL

I don't know if I'm choosing the right route not furthering my studies at the moment. I have my reasons of doing so but I can only keep it to myself. I can't seem to share freely my entire thoughts with any of my friends.

Unsecured? -maybe. Just when you know everytime you placed your fucking trust on someone you thought you can trust. And when the honeymoon period is up. That's it!!! You see your so-called "friends" evolving from bestfriend to two-faced. And it feels really weird when someone you have been so closed with (before) changing to a complete stranger. The feeling really suck big time.

Ahhh! Deal with it, Sarah! Should have seen it coming. Eh no. If I knew it beforehand, I wouldn't have built up that friendship.

I really appreciate those who stayed by me - the happy and unhappy times. Thank you so much. <3 Waiting for job reply at the moment from Nyp. Time consuming job. Waiting time is 2-3weeks. It's already the second week. Crossing fingers, (we) will snag the job. Went interview the other day and was surprised and happy at the same time to see familiar faces.

Frankly speaking, I'm enjoying these kind of lifestyle. But sweet times won't last long. This society is realistic - No money, no talk. Have been sleeping at really weird timing recently. Ahhh! I know I know it's very bad. But I can't help it :( I am on the bed since 4.30 am. And I just can't close my eyes. Thank god, err, no, I mean thanks Steve jobs, for the invention of iPad. This mighty gadget is really my best friend. It accompanied me ALL THE TIME.

Was reading xx's blog from 5am til 6am. Randomly clicked on her FAQ page, and the part where how Mike and her got together, kept me reading. I do enjoy reading her blog, even though it's lengthy at times but it never stop my eyes and brain from reading. I wish one day I have the courage to blog out everything - including my friendships/relationship. Maybe I will. It's 7am. Hitting the sack now. Goodbye.

Never judge a book by its cover

I have seen so many people changing, but it never hurts so badly when 'they' do it... probably they didn't matter much to me in the first place. but when the ones whom you were close with, does the same thing. the pain is permanent. It sucks.